Grief – it’s a big topic and not one many people want to
talk about. Almost everyone experiences grief. Most of the time it is for
someone you love who passes away, but have you ever stopped to think of the
other things we grieve?
The parent who hears their child has a disability grieves
for the loss of what they thought their child’s life was going to be. The person who gets fired grieves for the
loss of their job. The person who loses a limb grieves the loss of their body
part.
For me, I must work through and deal with grief daily for three major
losses in 4 years. How we work daily to live with the grief from 1) losing body
parts that make me a female, 2) losing the ability to have biological children
and experience pregnancy and childbirth, and 3) the loss of a very special
bonus daughter to cancer.
Most people will understand the third item, as the loss of a
loved one is something we’re used to people grieving. We are all there for the funeral, telling the
grieving family we’re there for them – anything they need. Eventually the
support falls off. Close friends and families the only ones who still may be
around offering support after six months or a year. By year 2 or 5 most of the
support is non-existent. Some even think the grieving person should “be over it
by now.” When you love someone, the “it” they are talking about wanting you to
be over grieving is your loved one.
In our society grief is something that is danced around,
avoided and many times ignored. This is an area where the Church has also
failed. Grief seems to be a taboo subject once everyone has prayed for the
family, attended the funeral and the body is buried. How do we fix this?
For Christians, it can be tough to feel like you’re walking
through a dark valley with no one around you. We struggle. We know that our
loved one is in heaven, healed and whole. We also know that we want them back
with us because we miss them. We know we will once again see them when we,
ourselves, get to heaven. We also know that we miss them EVERY second of EVERY
day. We hate that life goes on without them. We live with that gaping hole in
our lives, events, and hearts.
We need to start talking about grief, sharing about grief
and making it a normal part of our lives. Over the next few posts, I’m going to
dig into my own grief. Share each part of my grief journey in each area that I
grieve. Hoping that by doing this, I’ll be able to start people talking about
grief and making it less of a taboo subject – in the general public and the
church.
