Grief

 

Grief – it’s a big topic and not one many people want to talk about. Almost everyone experiences grief. Most of the time it is for someone you love who passes away, but have you ever stopped to think of the other things we grieve?

 The parent who hears their child has a disability grieves for the loss of what they thought their child’s life was going to be.  The person who gets fired grieves for the loss of their job. The person who loses a limb grieves the loss of their body part.

 For me, I must work through and deal with grief daily for three major losses in 4 years. How we work daily to live with the grief from 1) losing body parts that make me a female, 2) losing the ability to have biological children and experience pregnancy and childbirth, and 3) the loss of a very special bonus daughter to cancer.

 Most people will understand the third item, as the loss of a loved one is something we’re used to people grieving.  We are all there for the funeral, telling the grieving family we’re there for them – anything they need. Eventually the support falls off. Close friends and families the only ones who still may be around offering support after six months or a year. By year 2 or 5 most of the support is non-existent. Some even think the grieving person should “be over it by now.” When you love someone, the “it” they are talking about wanting you to be over grieving is your loved one.

 In our society grief is something that is danced around, avoided and many times ignored. This is an area where the Church has also failed. Grief seems to be a taboo subject once everyone has prayed for the family, attended the funeral and the body is buried. How do we fix this?

For Christians, it can be tough to feel like you’re walking through a dark valley with no one around you. We struggle. We know that our loved one is in heaven, healed and whole. We also know that we want them back with us because we miss them. We know we will once again see them when we, ourselves, get to heaven. We also know that we miss them EVERY second of EVERY day. We hate that life goes on without them. We live with that gaping hole in our lives, events, and hearts.

We need to start talking about grief, sharing about grief and making it a normal part of our lives. Over the next few posts, I’m going to dig into my own grief. Share each part of my grief journey in each area that I grieve. Hoping that by doing this, I’ll be able to start people talking about grief and making it less of a taboo subject – in the general public and the church.